Faculty & Staff

UWBS boasts one of the most impressive groups of academics in their respective fields.

The Dark Lord A graduate of the prestigious George Mason University, The Dark Lord (or, "DL" as he is known) has proven to be a key member of the faculty in the Economics department. A rigorous--and entertaining--lecturer, DL is renowned campus-wide for inspiring students, testing academic limits, glowering out his third-floor window, forming consensuses, and walking on the heels of his shoes. As of late, there are viscious rumors that it is DL (not a ghost, as some suspect) who can be heard playing the Grand Piano located in the student center in the middle of the night. DL denies such rumors.

Beam This professor is the jolly mayor of a nearby planned community, Beamland. We are proud to have him on our winning team of professors. He has been with the University since its inception in 1979, and plays a pivotal role in a wide variety of different activities boards on campus. Beam is known for his ever-joyous demeanor, engaging lectures, and challenging exams. His name is well-suited because of the shining smiles that radiate from his students' faces, as well as his own. We are proud to have Beam on board and, thanks to a recent global economic meltdown that has crippled the potency of everyone's retirement accounts, we hope to have many more years of service from a great professor!

Tucker Joining us from the University of Texas, Tucker is now the interim head of the anthropology department. Tucker brings a full pallet of experiences and world travels to the anthropology department. Tucker is glad to be joining the UWBS team and looks forward to a long, rewarding career, complete with tenure!

Chesky Dr. Chesky joined us as an interim professor in the Feline Taxidermy department halfway through last semester. While little is known about Dr. Chesky, we're sure he'll fit right in. As a matter of fact, quite recently, Dr. Chesky has proven instrumental in spearheading the creation of a chemistry minor at UWBS. While Chesky's name has come up in the investigations of some of the world's more infamous chemical-processing disasters in recent times, we're sure his bad-luck streak has come to an end. We're glad to have him with us!